Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
