a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
