I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
