please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
