this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
