Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
