And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize