i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
