I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
