have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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