Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
