wakey wakey hands off snakey
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
