people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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