Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am available for nakedness
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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