I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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