Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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