8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize