Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
