Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
