these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
