Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
