I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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