Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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