listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I need a beard to bite.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
