Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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