in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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