drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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