rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He literally asked permission to hit on me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
