You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
