he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
