I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
