just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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