Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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