you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
