I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
