Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
