Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
