i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
