That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
