just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize