Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
