go do what you do best...puke behind churches
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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