I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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