i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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