I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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