I think I am morally bankrupt
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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