i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
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