Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
