Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize