So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
