i just had sex bonerless
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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