I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
