This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
