Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
