If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
