My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
