No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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