Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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