She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
