Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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