guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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