he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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