You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
