so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
